just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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