if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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