It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
