I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
