I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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