there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
