u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
