I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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