so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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