saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
