I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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