You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
