She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
