also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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