Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
