We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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