i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
