people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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