Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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