So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
...so i touched it.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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