Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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