Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
