Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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