woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
