Are we in a gay sports bar?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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