to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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