I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
