"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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