Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
