It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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