we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
