He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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