well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
