I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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