just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize