you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
