You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
