I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
