I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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