i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
