Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize