she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
