clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
