I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
