somebody snuck up and got me drunk
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the day after is always just damage control
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
