I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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