you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
