Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
