Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
