I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
