Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
