so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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