We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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