i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
