i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
