just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So I just went to clothing optional bar
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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