His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
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