if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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