his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
