if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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