I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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