You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
