You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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