She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
