He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
