I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
