If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Randomize
