Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
