you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
