You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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