I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
